To Forgive Or Not To Forgive

Whoever said it was easy to forgive others was telling a fib! This has definitely been an area I’ve struggled in. It seems the more you try to be positive and surround yourself with positive energy there are always things that come along the way to challenge your beliefs. I have always been taught to treat others the way I would want to be treated. At the same time I felt as though people should know better and have more common sense then to do the things they did to irritate me in the first place lol!

As I reflect on my life I can recall many instances I had trouble forgiving people as a result of minor to major infractions. For many years I had no problem not speaking to people when I saw them or acknowledging that they existed when brought up by others. It wasn’t until I began growing closer with God and realizing that if I want to be forgiven, I have to forgive! I can’t expect for God to show favor in my life and continue to bless me when I can’t be civil to my peers, neighbors, community members, etc.

When you allow the spirit of God to dwell in you and take complete control of your life you begin doing things that you never knew you could. Today for instance I encountered a gentlemen that I have had issues with over the past few months that stemmed from neighborhood issues with my family and did something I couldn’t have dreamed up. Here’s a little back drop- I have witnessed this person be disrespectful verbally, emotionally and display taunting behaviors toward my family members.

I began to notice the physical and emotional changes I would experience when placed in the same environment as this individual. When in the same environment I would get tense, my adrenaline would rush as I began to prepare myself for the unthinkable to happen. I would stiffen my face up, clench my keys tighter, walk harder, glare at them when I saw them…this was just during my walk from my car to my family member’s front door. Once inside I remained on edge and prepared! One might question what “being prepared” means. In this instance I was prepared to listen out for disrespectful comments and observe for taunting and disrespectful behaviors. Can you imagine what being in a constant state of defensiveness feels like? Can you imagine the stress it causes your mind, body and most importantly, your soul?

Today was different! As I went out on an errand for a family member I seen the gentleman that evoked the feelings previously mentioned. At first I started to walk in the opposite direction or on the other side of the aisle so they didn’t see me. However, God had something else in mind. He lead me straight to this gentleman and before I knew it, I said “excuse me can I give you a hug?” To my surprise he obliged. In my head I was thinking holy crap, he didn’t look at me crazy, curse me out, roll his eyes, or say no. He just gave me a hug. After we embraced we began discussing the issues that plagued the neighborhood and ways we, and our family members, contributed to it. As we wrapped up our conversation, we embraced again. As I walked away I was still in shock and chuckled to myself. At that moment I acknowledged that God has a purpose and a plan and will use us to give someone something that they need when they need it. I’m not sure what those hugs and conversation meant to the gentleman today. As for me, it showed that it’s never too late to forgive or too early for a hug!